I just finished reading The Secret Life of Bees, by Sue Monk Kidd. It was a very interesting book, easy to read, and thought-provoking. It centers on the life of a teenage girl growing up in South Carolina in the 1960's. Her mother died when she was 4, and early on in the book you find out that she was actually responsible for her mother's death. Her parents were having an argument, her mother pulled a gun from out of the closet, there was a struggle and it fell to the ground. She picked it up, to give it back to her mother, and it discharged, and killed her mother. Anyway, her father is angry, mean, and abusive. He punishes her by pouring grits (uncooked, obviously) on the floor and making her kneel on them for unrealistic lengths of time. She ends up running away, after busting her nanny out of jail...long story about that too. Anyway, it's an amazing book that deals with issues of racism, prejudice, civil rights, the art of keeping bees, forgiveness, and coming to accept who you are and where you came from. I think it was for that last reason that I identified with it so much. It's just plain bizarre to me how many stereotypes and preconceived notions I've struggled with (directed against me) simply because I'm from the south and/or this is my first time out of the country.



I had a conversation with one of the directors of my program last Sunday that was truly bizarre. I emailed some of you about it, and have been reluctant thus far to discuss it on here, for fear...I don't know for fear of what. Basically she told me that the board members have all been really worried about me, since I'd never had international experience and since I came from (no kidding here) "the backwoods." She went on to say that they wanted to know what I did, and then she asked me if I was lonely. I'm not doing a very good job of explaining, but trust me, it was bizarre, impossible to follow, and just really strange. It ended with her asking me if I'd write something up about myself and my life here to give to the board so they could get to know me some better. Initially I thought it was fine...whatever, a chance to defend and/or vindicate myself. However, after the godly counsel of one of the second year interns that works at my school, I've decided against it. There's a chance that they directors are facing some difficulties right now and having to answer to Tel Aviv University about some things, and whatever I would write could be used in ways...anyway, again, hard to explain. Basically, there's something akin to a revolution taking place, and I would be opposed to something I write for a specific purpose being used for an entirely different purpose. Then I found out on Monday (hope I haven't already mentioned this) that I might not have some of my students until mid-January due to our winter break (from 12/24 - 1/9) and the school has exams for the next two weeks. I've been very gameesh (flexible) thus far, but it was just too much. If I'm teaching in this school, it's only barely. And it's not the teacher's fault, it's not even the fault of the program directors. It's just how this particular school operates. I'm not sure if I shared this before or not, but there was a period of time (during Ramadan, I'm pretty sure) where I gauged my productivity by whether or not the Diet Coke I brought to school with me was still cold when I left. Nine times out of ten, it was still cold. It's just discouraging - to be here, making not enough money to live off of, not really accomplishing much in my University classes (that's for a whole other day though) and definitely accomplishing very little at school. And I'm not really too fond of the Israeli "we're all at war - even with each other" mentality. (FYI, that quote was from a famous Israeli author/painter. It would be one thing for me to say it, but for an Israeli to say it, it gains some credibility, I think.)



So, all things considered, I'm considering my options. I highly recommend the book though. It's a good and insightful book, and really easy to read. Merry Christmas everyone.