The big news

Well I'm moving to South Korea. It's funny, now it seems like such a set thing to me (because it is) and I forget that there are people who know nothing about it. Here's the situation:



- I realized that my contempt and animosity for this country and culture continued to grow. It has everything to do with my heart, my attitude, and my personal issues and sin, I know. That's not to say Israel isn't an agressive and not always entirely pleasant place to live - it's just to say that I'm not so delusional as to think I can blame my unhappiness on an entire culture.



- The school in Jaffa might not ever get a schedule worked out for the interns there. This wasn't a major frustration, but it was one of the last straws.



- Finances. Enough said.



I started looking at other Master's programs in TESOL, and I noticed that there were a TON of them in South Korea. My dear friend Mary (in the program with me) was born in Korea and adopted to a family in Iowa. Anyway, she visited Korea, and we've discussed it somewhat. I mentioned to her how there were so many programs there, and she told me that there was a high demand for English teachers there as well. I looked around on the internet some, posted my availability on one (count 'em...one) website, and had eight or ten job offers within three or four days.



The school I'm going to...it's actually an English school - it's extra help in addition to school. Anyway, it's in Seoul. The phone interview I had with a really kind lady from the school went well, and she told me that they were excited when they saw that I was a Christian. She said that she prays before she hires anyone, and she always tries to hire Christians. So the up side of it is that they pay for the airfare over there, put me up in an apartment (the rent, that is...I'll still be responsible for utilities), and the pay is really quite decent.



So...with that said, I leave for Korea in slightly more than twenty-four hours. In fact, at this exact time tomorrow, I'll be doing all the last minute things I should've done before then (things I should probably be doing now). I have to be at the airport at either 2:30 or 3:30 AM. Too early!!!



It's actually officially Christmas here right now - Merry Christmas everyone! Mary and I had a Christmas party at her apartment tonight. Mostly other interns from the program came, only one of which kinda celebrates Christmas at all. Nonetheless, we had a thoroughly enjoyable time. Mary's apartment is all decorated for Christmas...it's quite cheery really. And I have an accomplishment to share - I made eggnog (yes, the alcoholic kind) from scratch! All of you that know me know that my cooking skills are....for the most part, non-existant. And even though I put sugar in the egg whites when I was supposed to put it in the cream, it turned out quite nicely. However, my tolerance for alcohol is very nearly zero, and I don't like how it tastes at all, so the only cup of eggnog I had was half whipped cream (also made from scratch) and half eggnog.



So I'm spending the night at Mary's tonight, and we're going to have Christmas together in the morning. I'm excited about it. Then later on, Tiffany is going to come over and help me pack up all my stuff. A group of us (current and former) interns are supposed to go out for dinner tomorrow night also. Tonight was supposed to be when I said good-bye to everyone, but I just couldn't bring myself to do it.



So...Merry Christmas!

Truly unbelievable...

I'm sick of trying to make my days out to be as stunning and maddening as they have a tendency of being. I'm not saying I lie...not at all. I just like to try and create pictures with my words.



About a week ago I had made plans for some delightful Christian girls I met while staying in the dorm to come over for dinner last night. I've been having some issues with getting the medicine I take refilled. My Dad ended up getting it filled in the States but we had a miscommunication and he didn't realize how soon Mary was leaving, so the way he sent it, it won't get there fast enough for her to bring it with her. SO...I made an appointment to see a doctor here - my insurance won't pay for the medicine but it will pay for the doctor's appointment. Plus there's something funky going on with one of my ears. My appointment was at 6:30 PM (still strikes me as weird, but whatever). I moved dinner plans back to 7:30 - that should have been more than enough time. Of course it wasn't - I ended up waiting an hour to NOT see the doctor. The ATM machine ate my card...and the thing is, I can admit if I've screwed up financially. I haven't been a financial genius in my life at any point, but I know I haven't screwed up enough to get my card eaten! So...I thought I was going to have to cancel dinner plans. I tried to call them, only to find that my phone was out of minutes, my wallet was out of cash, and my card was NOT coming out of the ATM machine. The girls picked up some dinner and brought it over, so we got to eat together and have a delightful time. Nonetheless, frustrating.



This morning, took out Daive and WeBe. I realize that I can only take out two at a time if there's any hope of me having a good morning and not hating them all. Had the keys in my hand, dropped them in the stampede of trying to get the two dogs and me OUT the door with Pablo staying behind the door. Why would I need them? Not a big deal...the outside door doesn't lock, and I'm just walking around the block. (I know you know already that this cannot be good.) So whatever...we have a nice walk. We get back upstairs to find.... (you ready?) that the door is now locked. Funny....when I left, just a couple minutes ago, the door was definitely, definitely, not locked. Yet now it is. Pablo, being the neurotic canine genius that he is, grabbed onto the bolt (different from any lock I've seen in the States) like he grabs onto door handles, and evidently turned it. Nice...



So I sat down on the stairs, in a state of disbelief. I thought many thoughts, few of which were healthy, many of which were not positive. Long story short, I made friends with Mary's neighbors (who have two dogs - a great dane and a really cute mixed breed smaller dog) who tried to pick the lock. I involved them initially to see if they had an adjoining balcony or something to Mary's apartment, but they didn't. I contemplated calling a locksmith, but then realized that would require payment of some kind. (ATM card still not in my possession.) He ended up breaking the lock - the door isn't solid (solid wood, I'm guessing) so he sorta dug around it, and dislodged the lock enough so he could force the door open. So now I can lock myself in...but not out. After that, I went back to sleep. There's some days (much like today) when you just gotta know when to say, "Theoretically this day can only get better. Practically speaking though, the only chances of it not getting worse are if I go to bed immediately." So that's what I did.



I have some big news to share...but am going to hold out for another day or two. There's somebody important that I've yet to discuss it with, and that needs to happen before it becomes set in stone or general knowledge. Please pray for me, if you can. I'm in desperate need of wisdom and discernment right now.

Not for the faint of heart...

I'm currently reading portions of the book Recovering Biblical Manhood and Womanhood (Piper and Grudem). I was actually all warm and cozy in bed reading when I read a quote that inspired me to get out of bed and come share it here. It's in chapter 3 (I'm pretty sure) by Raymond Ortlund, Jr. entitled "Male-Female Equality and Male Headship." (I warned you!) Anyway, it is discussing the difference between male headship (in the partnership of two spiritually equal human beings, man and woman, the man bears the primary responsibility to lead the partnership in a God-glorifying direction) and male domination (assertion of the man's will over the woman's will, heedless of her spiritual equality, her rights, and her value). I'm going to only put an excerpt here, and if you want to read it in context you can find it at http://www.cbmw.org/rbmw/rbmw.pdf.

Why then do godly people resist this teaching so energetically? One reason is

a smothering male domination asserted in the name of male headship. When truth

is abused, a rival position (in this case, feminism) that lacks logically

compelling power can take on psychologically compelling power. But male

domination is a personal moral failure, not a Biblical doctrine.

If we define ourselves out of a reaction to bad experiences, we will be

forever translating our pain in the past into new pain for ourselves and

others in the present. We must define ourselves not by personal injury, not by

fashionable hysteria, not even by personal variation and diversity, but by the

suprapersonal pattern of sexual understanding taught here in Holy Scripture.

Regardless of whether you agree or disagree with his idea, the first sentence in the second paragraph is powerful nonetheless. Finding yourself and becoming acquainted with yourself are two concepts that are rather huge right now. It makes me wonder - has the issue of realizing you're a foreigner to yourself a new one? If not, how was it dealt with in the past? If it is a new issue, why? What has caused this self-obsessed (an arguable point, I know) fad? Anyway - that's all. I'm not sure if I'm brave enough to ask for a response...but share your thoughts if you'd like -cringe-.

I cannot believe it is December 15!

I'm not trying to be super-silent or anything, I promise. It's just that there's a lot going on in the works right now. I'm not intentionally trying to be mysterious, but I also don't want to speak out of turn about things that are big. So forgive me for just rambling on about inconsequential things. I'll get to the important stuff just as soon as it works itself out, promise.



I've been dog-sitting at Mary's house since Wednesday evening, and I promise the only time I'm not in front of the computer is when I'm out of the apartment or sleeping. It's actually kinda sad. But I've been extremely productive, so I'm mostly okaywith it. In the "unproductive" column though, would go all the time I've spent playing the game "puzzle inlay" at yahoo games. It's rather pathetic how infatuated I've become with this game. For all of you who aren't obsessive-compulsive like me, I recommend it. If you're like me (and you know who you are!), it'd be easier just to stay away entirely.



There's this mosquito in the apartment. I'm not sure how it has stayed alive all this time, but it has. I actually think it might have some kind of super-mosquito strength. I'm a pretty good bug squasher, and Daive is an excellent bug-eater. So the fact that this mosquito continues to live makes us both rather unhappy - though me more so because it's been trying to eat me alive. It's become quite the war. I've been trying to think of an appropriate name for the little thing, but so far haven't been that creative yet. Everything I've thought of just doesn't seem to fit. Anyway...I'm going to go. I should go to sleep fairly soon, I guess.

I just finished reading The Secret Life of Bees, by Sue Monk Kidd. It was a very interesting book, easy to read, and thought-provoking. It centers on the life of a teenage girl growing up in South Carolina in the 1960's. Her mother died when she was 4, and early on in the book you find out that she was actually responsible for her mother's death. Her parents were having an argument, her mother pulled a gun from out of the closet, there was a struggle and it fell to the ground. She picked it up, to give it back to her mother, and it discharged, and killed her mother. Anyway, her father is angry, mean, and abusive. He punishes her by pouring grits (uncooked, obviously) on the floor and making her kneel on them for unrealistic lengths of time. She ends up running away, after busting her nanny out of jail...long story about that too. Anyway, it's an amazing book that deals with issues of racism, prejudice, civil rights, the art of keeping bees, forgiveness, and coming to accept who you are and where you came from. I think it was for that last reason that I identified with it so much. It's just plain bizarre to me how many stereotypes and preconceived notions I've struggled with (directed against me) simply because I'm from the south and/or this is my first time out of the country.



I had a conversation with one of the directors of my program last Sunday that was truly bizarre. I emailed some of you about it, and have been reluctant thus far to discuss it on here, for fear...I don't know for fear of what. Basically she told me that the board members have all been really worried about me, since I'd never had international experience and since I came from (no kidding here) "the backwoods." She went on to say that they wanted to know what I did, and then she asked me if I was lonely. I'm not doing a very good job of explaining, but trust me, it was bizarre, impossible to follow, and just really strange. It ended with her asking me if I'd write something up about myself and my life here to give to the board so they could get to know me some better. Initially I thought it was fine...whatever, a chance to defend and/or vindicate myself. However, after the godly counsel of one of the second year interns that works at my school, I've decided against it. There's a chance that they directors are facing some difficulties right now and having to answer to Tel Aviv University about some things, and whatever I would write could be used in ways...anyway, again, hard to explain. Basically, there's something akin to a revolution taking place, and I would be opposed to something I write for a specific purpose being used for an entirely different purpose. Then I found out on Monday (hope I haven't already mentioned this) that I might not have some of my students until mid-January due to our winter break (from 12/24 - 1/9) and the school has exams for the next two weeks. I've been very gameesh (flexible) thus far, but it was just too much. If I'm teaching in this school, it's only barely. And it's not the teacher's fault, it's not even the fault of the program directors. It's just how this particular school operates. I'm not sure if I shared this before or not, but there was a period of time (during Ramadan, I'm pretty sure) where I gauged my productivity by whether or not the Diet Coke I brought to school with me was still cold when I left. Nine times out of ten, it was still cold. It's just discouraging - to be here, making not enough money to live off of, not really accomplishing much in my University classes (that's for a whole other day though) and definitely accomplishing very little at school. And I'm not really too fond of the Israeli "we're all at war - even with each other" mentality. (FYI, that quote was from a famous Israeli author/painter. It would be one thing for me to say it, but for an Israeli to say it, it gains some credibility, I think.)



So, all things considered, I'm considering my options. I highly recommend the book though. It's a good and insightful book, and really easy to read. Merry Christmas everyone.

Daive went for a sleepover at Natalie N's house tonight. Natalie is one of the other first year interns, and one of my favorite people here. She has a cocker spaniel at home that she misses desperately, so I told her I would probably be taking advantage of her love of animals while I was dog-sitting. It's amazing the difference one dog, even as small as Daive, can make when you have two larger (yet entirely lovable) ones around.



I have so many interesting things to talk about and update everyone on...but not now. It's far too late, and I'm far too tired. Check again soon though...there's an article in a Time magazine I got that I've been wanting to comment on for some time.

I shake my fist at Hickory Farms

I miss Christmas. I called Banfield today to ask a question, and very nearly started crying when I heard the Christmas music playing while I was on hold. I miss seeing the decorations, experiencing the good moods, and hearing the music. It makes me pathetically sad and depressed to miss it. But I've come to terms with not having that this year. May I share with you what I have not come to terms with? I do not understand why Hickory Farms doesn't sell their "tangy bacon cheese spread" individually. I don't even like bacon, as most of you know. I only want this cheese spread because of its sentimental value. It tasted good before, and it makes me think of Christmas - therefore, it would make me happy now. However, after doing a semi-thorough job of scouring the internet, I've found no places where I can get JUST the tangy bacon cheese spread, and it comes in two gift baskets I could maybe convince myself that they were worth purchasing - but not really, because I'd end up paying $30 (US dollars) just to get two ounces of the tangy bacon cheese spread. It would be entirely anti-climactic and not the smartest financial move ever. Ah well...just one more thing...



I'm in a bad spot today. I'm hormonal, home-sick, holiday-sick, lonely a bit, and overwhelmed from school, University, and TASP stuff. I should elaborate more but I'm so cold I'm shivering. I'm going to bed. I promise to write more later.

Look for me on AIM

I'm house/dog sitting for Mary and Eylon for the next week or so. With that said, I'll be on AIM - look for me - with my new and improved SN:

falafeledout

As in....I'm all falafeled out. And I am. Yes...it's pretty dumb, but I wanted something not trite that really captured the essense of how I'm feeling lately. This works. I know quite a few of my friends have AIM but I don't know very many of your names...so please add me to your buddy lists and keep an eye out for me. Hope to talk to some of you soon! :)