His eye is on the sparrow...

I'm sharing this against my better judgment. I know that generally all (or at least the vast majority) of my friends think I'm just a tad freakish for how much I love my dogs. Now mind you, it's not in any sort of un-biblical way, it's just that I have truly always been the geeky little kid whose dog was her best friend. And I'm so completely okay with that - the God I serve is so remarkable that He has used even the non-human canine vessel to teach me a lot about myself and about Him. Please don't misunderstand and think that I'm a misguided person who thinks that animals have souls and/or have moral capabilities. I don't think so at all, though I think it would be nice in an overall sense for animals to be in heaven - it seems like they would if for no other reason than they have done their job - nature in itself glorifies God and has never failed to do so. Gracious...I'm rather far from my original point. So, moving on, I know many people think I like my dogs too much, and to be honest it's something I struggle with. I was watching a movie tonight with Bethany and a couple other people and during the first part a dog was killed. It made my stomach turn and I had to get up (though it was also a convenient excuse for me to get ice cream since I was already up at that point). Later on when people were killed though, I was completely fine. Bethany asked me if I get that upset when a child is murdered (on CSI or Law and Order) and I said, "Well, it depends." And she said, "That's messed up." And it is. And yet again I have wandered miles away from my point:



I like dogs, a lot. Particularly my dogs - I'm quite fond of them. And since it looks like Oskar is going to have to be put to sleep soon, I'm upset. And I've yet to find a home for Juliette and White Puppy. To be perfectly honest I haven't tried TOO hard. I keep on hoping I can find some kind of foster agency or find a friend or family member of friend of a family member who will just baby-sit them for me while I'm gone. But that's generally unrealistic. I was reading online at a particular website that said it is usually more merciful for an adult dog to be euthanized rather than being taken to a shelter, because most times they'll end up spending the rest of their lives there, thoroughly miserable. Goodness, it just about broke my heart. I cried...a lot. I'm just holding onto various verses - not a bird falls from the sky without God's knowledge, He feeds the sparrows and clothes the flowers of the field, and while I know that the fate of my two adult dogs (who are really ever so wonderful) isn't all that important to anyone but me, I know it's not outside His knowledge and providence. I'm just praying (and I won't lie, crying a lot too).



When I was young, really young, and had to spend the night away from my house, I always had the hardest time picking out which stuffed animal I wanted to take with me. I was always afraid I was going to hurt the feelings of those I left behind. Before I'd leave I'd hug extra tight all the animals left behind. Now that I'm older I know that stuffed animals don't have feelings, and real animals don't have feelings in the way that people do. But they do form bonds and attachments, and deep down, since the two I'm trying to find homes for were reject dogs in the first place (got one from the pound and one from the streets) I'm just scared they'll think they aren't wanted. Ridiculous, perhaps, but that's what it feels like.



I do believe that God is sovereign though (for those that may now be convinced I've completely lost my mind) and know that His providential plan even extends to the fate of my two dogs. I just pray (and ask that you would join me in this prayer) that He would show me His will, what I should be doing to find them appropriate homes, and that He would grant me a discerning heart to see and steer through the accompanying emotions. A long post, all about my dogs...but those that are reading would expect nothing less, I'm sure. :) Love you all!



Layla tov (good night)